A Reflection. Ordained to the Ministry of Word and Sacrament.
Rev. Mark Lai
Being called to full time ministry is a daunting thought and journey for us all. When speaking to many who are in full time Christian ministry, being called to the Ordained Ministry is even more daunting and, to many, fear provoking.
There were many times that I had asked myself, “why am I doing this?”, ”why am I putting myself through this?”, which were very important moments. And to be honest, looking inward did not give me good answers. Instead, having found unsatisfactory answers through introspection, I had to turn outwards and upwards.
ORD was a joke that I placed into my ordination sign up link, but it had turned out to be more relevant to me than I could imagine. In Singapore’s National Service, we think that ORD is the end date, we go back to normal life.
However, ORD means ‘Operationally Ready Date’, which also means that we are ready for any operations should there be a need. If our country calls, we are ready having been through the proper training, to serve the nation when she calls. The day I was ‘ORDained’ was also the date that I was operationally ready, in a sense.
My reflection also has these three letters ORD. Order, Remembering, Direction.
Order. There was a time while writing my thesis that I struggled with the purpose of getting ordained. Many of my friends would say that they would be doing almost the same things even if they were not ordained, what’s going to be the difference here? I think that to an extent, they were not wrong, at the same time, there was surely more to it than just doing the work.
I was reminded by the book “Pastor” by William Willimon, that God’s use of the Church was to bring order into the chaotic and sinful world that we live in. It is God’s creative action to bring order in me. Further, it is not that I am the one bringing order, but God’s creative action that brings order through me to serve the Gospel, and the Gospel’s Lord.
While there are other ways to serve the Church, God wants to bring order, and the very order which He has given and established, cannot be subverted, and can only be accompanied through this blessing.
While the world is seeing the demise of institutions and is awaiting the end of the Church as an institution, God continues to use the imperfections of our human nature to bring his order in chaos.
Ordination was not so much about authority and power, but it was God’s intended way to bring order into our chaotic world, our chaotic lives – even in our imperfections, with His grace and mercy – through the proper preaching of His Gospel and the administration of His sacraments according to His Word.
Remembering. I’m always reminded when I read the Old Testament, that the whole liturgy was a form of the people of Israel remembering the salvific work of God – how he had brought Israel out from the land of Egypt, as slaves, into the land of Canaan that flows with milk and honey.
We remember God’s goodness in our lives, we remember God’s grace and mercy, His providence and His power.
At the same time, the Psalmist appeals to God many times, to “remember your promise to me”, Moses’ appeal to God was to remember his promises to Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob.
We remember, but more importantly, God remembers His promises to us. We forget why we started doing what we did, but God always remembers why and what he had started, and he would see it to completion.
Remembering God’s promises to us is important, but more importantly, God remembers and has kept His promises to me, and to all of us. If he has called you, he has promised you His presence, His strength, His providence, His Spirit, His grace, to enable you to do what He has called you to do.
He remembers!
Direction. We stand at crossroads daily, choices that paralyse us, big and small. From who we shall date and marry, to what we shall eat – both as questions we struggle with, one seasonally and one daily.
Life as an adventure, and likewise, this journey in the life of the ordained ministry that I’ve embarked on, I would always be asking, “Am I going in the right direction?”, “Have I made the right choice?”, “What if I had gone the wrong way?”. What if…?
And I am reminded by what my wife, Chessa, said when we first talked about seeing each other, and again, when the weight of being ordained was right at precipice of our lives. She said: “I don’t know what it means to be a pastor’s wife, what matters is not that, it is that as long as God is with us, Jesus is with us, it will be alright.”
It doesn’t matter which direction we choose, as long as Jesus is with us, as long as we are walking toward Jesus and His Cross, towards His grace and his love for us, as long as we walk in it daily, and toward Christ daily, it would be alright.
Order, Remembering, Direction.
It is daunting. As I was preparing for this day, God reminded me over and over again that He was the one bringing His order through me, it would look different from what I can imagine order to be, and it surely has been.
He reminded me that he remembers His promise of grace and mercy, He remembers His promise of love and providence, and that even when I fail, even when I do not do well, I am sure that He is at work, and through an unworthy, imperfect person, He can still bring about completeness.
He reminded me that wherever I go, he is surely with me, and that is His greatest gift to me. With His Promises, I am ready.
The Rev. Mark Lai (Left) with his family, Chessa (Right) and Ameniah (centre), pointing up toward God, whom all glory and praise belongs.
反思。
被任命为道与圣礼的事奉者。
黎伟亮牧师
当我与许多全职事奉者交谈时，发觉到被呼召到按立事奉这段旅程，对许多人来说是个令人畏惧的经历。
有许多时候我曾问自己：“我为什么要这样做？”，“我为什么要让自己经历这些？”，这些都是非常重要的时刻。坦白说，通过向内自省，我找不到滿意的答案，我不得不将目光投向外部和上方。
ORD最初只是我放入按立报名链接的一个玩笑，但事实证明它对我而言，比我想象的更有意义。在新加坡的国民服役期间，我们认为ORD是结束全职服役的日期，我们可以回归正常生活。
然而，ORD的意思是“作战准备日期”，这也意味着我们随时准备进行任何作战任务。如果国家动员，经过适当的培训，我们已准备好随时为国家服务。我“按立”的那一天，也是我从某种意义上说，是准备就绪的日子。
我的反思中也包含这三个字母 ORD。秩序（Order）、回忆（Remembering）、方向（Direction）。
秩序。在写按立论文的时候，曾经有一段时间，我为按立的目的而苦恼。许多朋友会说，即使他们没有按立为牧师，他们在教会事奉上所作的工作几乎相同，看不出有什么不同呢？我认为在某种程度上，他们并没有错，但同时，这其中肯定不仅仅是做工作那么简单。
威廉·威利蒙的《牧师》一书提醒我，当我们活在这混乱和罪恶的世界里，上帝使用教会带来秩序。这是上帝的创造性行动，带给我内心的秩序。而且，并不是我带耒秩序，而是上帝的创造性行动，通过我为福音和福音的主带来秩序。
虽然还有其他为教会服务的方式，但上帝希望带来秩序，而祂所给予和建立的秩序是无法颠覆的，只能通过这祝福的伴随而实现。
尽管世界看到机构的衰败，期待作为机构的教会的终结，但上帝继续利用我们人性的不完美，在混乱中带来祂的秩序。
按立并不是那么关乎权威和权力，而是上帝用特有的方式，将秩序带入我们混乱的世界、混乱的生活中——即使在我们的不完美中，借着他的恩典和憐悯，也通过正确传扬祂的福音和按照祂的话语施行祂的圣礼。
回忆。每当我阅读旧约时，我总是想起整个崇拜礼仪是以色列民记忆上帝救赎工作的形式——祂是如何将以色列人从埃及的奴役中领出，进入流奶与蜜的迦南地。
我们记忆上帝在我们生命中的恩善，谨记祂的恩典和怜悯，祂的眷顾和大能。
同时，诗篇的作者多次呼吁上帝“记起向我所应许的话”，摩西向上帝的呼求是记起祂向亚伯拉罕、以撒和雅各所应许的。
我们记忆，但更重要的是，上帝记得祂对我们的应许。我们可能忘记了开始做某件事的原因，但上帝总是记得，为何以及从何开始那事情，并将其顺利完成。
记得上帝对我们的应许是重要的，但更重要的是，上帝记得并信守祂对我和所有的承诺。如果祂呼召了你，祂就向你应许祂的同在、祂的力量、祂的眷顾、祂的圣灵、祂的恩典，使你能够完成祂呼召你要做的事。
祂记得！
方向。我们每天都站在十字路口，面对许多大大小小的选择，有时让我们感到犹豫不决。从我们选择约会和结婚的对象，到我们选择吃什么——这两个问题都让我们纠结，一个是季节性的，一个是日常的。
生命如同一次冒险，同样，在我踏上的按立事奉的旅程中，我经常会问自己：“我是不是朝着正确的方向前进？”，“我做了正确的选择吗？”，“如果我走错了路呢？”。如果……？
我想起我妻子切莎（Chessa）在我们第一次約会时说的话，而当按立的重压悬在我们生活的悬崖边时，她再次说起。她说：“我不知道成为牧师的妻子意味着什么，重要的不是那个，而是只要上帝与我们同在，耶稣与我们同在，一切都会好的。”
不管我们选择哪个方向，只要耶稣与我们同在，只要我们朝着耶稣和祂的十字架前行，朝着祂对我们的恩典和爱前行，只要我们每天都在其中行走，每天都向基督前行，一切都会好的。
秩序，回忆，方向。
的确，这是令人畏惧的。在我为这一天做准备的过程中，上帝一次又一次地提醒我，祂是通过我来带来祂的秩序，它可能与我想象中的秩序有所不同，而事实上的确如此。
祂提醒我，祂记得祂对恩典和怜悯的应许，祂记得祂对爱和眷顾的应许，即使我失败，即使我表现不佳，我相信祂在动工，通过一个不配、不完美的人，祂仍然能够带来完整。
祂提醒我，无论我走到哪里，祂都必与我同在，这是祂赐给我的最大的礼物。凭借祂的应许，我准备好了。
祝福 Rev. Mark Lai 与您的家人，Chessa 和 Ameniah，向上仰望神，一切荣耀和赞美都归于祂。愿神在您的事奉和家庭中临在，赐予您力量和喜乐。